Is anyone else sick of the fake job ads?

Before I was dissed and covid-dismissed I worked at a large firm. In fact, a lot of little guys were and we were equally desposed of a la used Kleenex tissues in hayfever season. Quickly and without remorse. The last time layoffs of this magnitude had occurred at this firm it was 2008 during the … Continue reading Is anyone else sick of the fake job ads?

From hero to zero

When the pandemic happened many corporations closed their doors, but not before kicking out as many little guys that they possibly could. These, ironically, are the same big corporations who wax lyrical about sycophantic “pillar stones” of their businesses - pillar stones that include ‘Integrity,’ ‘honesty’ and ‘morality.’ Corporations who claim to “celebrate” the little … Continue reading From hero to zero

Getting into a right (Empire) State

To have a hope in hells chance of getting to the Empire State before the worst of the tourist crowds (to which I now belong) snaked around the building - we had to get up early. As luck would have it the time difference between London and New York made this horrific task a walk … Continue reading Getting into a right (Empire) State

New York, New York – a helluva town

I am in the fabulous United States of America. It only took a ten hour flight, vast quantities of bloody Mary's and the overpowering urge to escape from London to get me here. I have to tell you, the border security here is scary. They took fingerprints, a candid (and entirely unattractive) picture of me, … Continue reading New York, New York – a helluva town

Don’t call me Daddy

I had recently been procrastinating about an irritating cough that just wouldn't go away. It started as annoyingly persistent and turned into the sort of deep-in-the-chest cough you would expect to come out of someone like Brian Blessed. To the point that when people heard me cough they actually said “um…Are you okay?” The thing … Continue reading Don’t call me Daddy

Comic Con – spring 2019

I went to the spring Comic-Con recently. Growing up in the golden area before the mobile phone I'm grateful to have been able to develop as a human being without the pressures of Facebook, Instagram and snapchat dragging me into a bigger pit of body dysmorphia and self loathing. Instead of taking pictures of myself … Continue reading Comic Con – spring 2019

Dressed to kill(?)

I’ve got a swanky do to go to at the end of November. A do that requires full-on glam and a cocktail dress. I’m slightly panicked about the entire situation Hopefully you can relate. You see... Last year Mr Maybes sister got married. Shopping for the wedding was traumatising. Especially as a designated social hermit … Continue reading Dressed to kill(?)

It will never last…

I decided five weeks ago that rather than talking about it, writing about it or waxing lyrical about the eventual results of it – I was actually going go ahead and do it. I was going to get fit. Or (in new-age hyper PC speak) “make a lifestyle adjustment” The ultimate adjustment being that I … Continue reading It will never last…

I’m in a weird mood

As you can probably tell - I'm in a weird mood. My skin has partially broken out (bad), the inland revenue gave me £4,000 for overtaxing last year (good) - and my auntie just died (heartbreaking). There are also thunderflies everywhere, which makes any situation ten times worse. I attended the funeral in a fabulous … Continue reading I’m in a weird mood

Adventures of a depressed executive assistant

Dear Diary Team keeps telling me what a lovely day it is outside while I sit at my desk, inbox heaving I can smell fresh air coming from a meeting room window kept ajar. It smells like freshly cut grass and broken dreams Dear Diary Chased by a homeless man in the park today while … Continue reading Adventures of a depressed executive assistant

All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)

Everyone in our W1 office has some form of bug, flu or plague at the moment and inevitably my time has now come to share in this unwelcome game of tag. As it's Easter, my parents have taken pity on me and insisted I visit them regardless of the projectile mucus and 'Regan'-esque Exorcist vocals … Continue reading All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)

So this is thirty … (two)

It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter … Continue reading So this is thirty … (two)

Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Mr Maybe and I carved pumpkins last night. I have to admit I had been looking forward to this for quite a while. Mostly because reaching for a kitchen knife after a long, hard day in the office and proceeding to yank out a pumpkins innards - only to then additionally carve a smiling face into … Continue reading Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Remain calm

Like every other person out there, I was looking forward to starting the new year by etch-a-sketching the amount I ate and drank over the holiday period and beginning the self-congratulatory road to both enlightenment and rock hard abs. Sadly, since the beginning of the new year there has been building work going on at … Continue reading Remain calm