From hero to zero

When the pandemic happened many corporations closed their doors, but not before kicking out as many little guys that they possibly could.

These, ironically, are the same big corporations who wax lyrical about sycophantic “pillar stones” of their businesses – pillar stones that include ‘Integrity,’ ‘honesty’ and ‘morality.’ Corporations who claim to “celebrate” the little guys and consider them “family”… because without them business would come to a grinding halt.

But that’s to be expected.

We are talking about big business here… so any talk of morality and integrity is purely hypothetical in nature.

Anyway – due to this fabulous throw-away attitude that the capitalist powers that be have regarding their workers, I (as a contractor) was told that “due to covid” my presence was no longer required.

In fact – I had until Friday to get my stuff and get the fuck out.

That was in March.

Four months ago.

At first the job market spasmed, clutched its chest and went into rigger mortis – and to be honest it hasn’t changed since then. Lots of job ads were going up (mostly fake or expired) so that agencies still seemed relevant but the truth was – there was no work. It got to the point that my agency contacts were calling me asking if I had heard anything / had any news regarding employment opportunities.

Um- no Karen. Please stop calling me. You sound like a crack-whore looking for a fix.

What I find alarming is that I went from hero to zero in five seconds.

Wheras before (when money wasn’t a problem and I was able to treat loved ones and friends to meals out, excursions, small gifts and trips to the pub) – now, without the small amount of affluence I previously enjoyed (and shared) to recommend me by… my stock had taken a significant nose dive in the eyes of what I later realised to be fair weather friends.

This is both intensely depressing and liberating at the same time.

If you are very lucky you will find friends in life who will be there through the thick, the thin, the bad haircuts and the toxic boyfriends. But sometimes people you trust or considered a ride or die surprise you in the most depressing way possible …By finding you at a low point and then kicking you for good measure. They only want the good times but none of the bad. Except (um, hello) that’s not how friendship works.

It made me realise exactly how many dead flowers I had been watering.

The positive outcome to this devastating, soul crushing betrayal is that there are still important people in my life who DO love and appreciate me and not just during the good times – and those are the people who will stand the test of time.

They don’t see a zero. They see a Zorro.

And as epiphanies go, I’ll take it.

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